Mr. Unicorner October- Gary Oldman

Every October, as it starts to inch closer and closer to Halloween, Donny and I pull out our favorite horror movies and take a nice little trip down memory lane. One film that I will never get enough of (and seriously could double as soft core porn if you're desperate) is Bram Stoker's Dracula. Far and away one of the best films of our time and most certainly the greatest vampire film.

You hear that Twilight? Real vampires fuck, drink blood, and turn into devil beasts. Not sparkly rainbows.

Anyway, One of the many reasons that film is so untouchable is that it is headed by none other than the amazing Gary Oldman.
Not many actors can blend and jump from role to role so seamlessly and bring such powerful performances with the subtlest of nuances. Also, not many actors are that god damn hot. Seriously? What is with that stone cold fox? I think in another post I'm going to tackle the subject of hot weird looking dudes. You know who they are.......
To get back to my point, Gary is certainly an antagonist in many of his roles and since Halloween is all about the bad guy I am naming him our Mr. Unicorner October.

I remember when I first saw him in Sid and Nancy as wee little thing and it immediately shaped my taste for men for the next decade. In hindsight maybe I should have watched him in another role first, a taste for drug addicted punk rockers does no one any good. But I digress, he was equally as mesmerizing as Sid Vicious as he was Beethoven.

Keep on keepin on Gary, you are one fine piece of ass. And a damn good actor to boot.

September's Mr. Unicorner-The Driver

If you haven't seen Drive yet your are seriously missing out. Drop what you are doing and go. Now. Stop reading this until you have seen the movie and then come back and swoon with me. Even you boys of the straight persuasion are going to have a raging bromance for The Driver/Kid as played by Ryan Gosling. The prestigious winner of September's Mr. Unicorner!!!!

Now, in keeping with tradition of The Unicorner I either can either honor an actor, musician or character. This month we are focusing on the character Ryan played in Drive. Before seeing this movie I only thought of Ryan as that dude from the Notebook. As cute as he was I'm not into that kid of drivel. Wah, Wah, cry, cry, sad face make up or someone dies. Nope. Not me. This film changed my mind quicker than a whore strips off her underpants. And he is Canadian, and we all know how much I LOVE Canadians (it's true).

Anyway, back to The Driver. Reminiscent of one of the most famous car movies of all time, Two Lane Blacktop, the main characters have no names and are simply called, the Mechanic and The Driver. Drive uses that same nomenclature and refers to Mr. Gosling as The Driver in this fantastic, no fucking frills, instant classic car film. Little to no dialogue on his part you can easily mistake him for an adorable simpleton with a sweet as sugar smile...until he curb stomps your brains in though. While he is violent to extreme, he does it for love and Boys, let me let you in on a little secret. A guy that stands up for his girl is tantamount to pouring gasoline in a fire. It's fucking hot. and fiery. And looks awesome.

I won't go into any more specifics, if you have seen it, you know. Now go see it and report back

August's Mr. Unicorner: Iggy Pop

It's that time of month again, the unveiling of August's Mr.Unicorner, the unflappable, unstoppable, unageable, un-out-rockable Mr. Jim Osterberg aka Iggy Pop/God.

I was thinking about who should be awarded this pretigious honor last night when it hit me like a ton of shirtless bricks. Speaking of shirtless bricks, you have NO idea how hard it is to find a picture of Iggy with one on. Not that I am complaining, I could look at that sexy dehydrated piece of jerky all day long.

Mr.July Unicorner: Paul Newman

Since Ive been such a shitty blogger I realize I have missed quite a few posts, one of them being the epically popular (.....) Mr. Unicorner feature. Seeing as its hot, hot July and the sun is baking everyone's testicles off in every place but San Francisco (seriously, I'm fucking coooold) I thought I'd serve us up a heaping helping of cool.

Also known as Paul Newman.

Hotter than Hell on Sunday, cooler than an (insert witty line) and not too mention the fine purveyor of delicious organic goods as well as friend to animals (and ladies) alike. He was a race car driver, a babe, and even at 83 I still would have made out with him. Probably more. Definitely more (and if any girl tells you different she is lying). That being said he loved his family and when asked if he would cheat he famously said "Why go out for a hamburger when you have steak at home?" And that ladies and gentlemen is almost hotter than he himself. Almost.