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I was getting ready for a day full of appointments in a hotel room in Oklahoma City. While brushing my teeth I noticed a speck of powder or makeup (so I thought) in my hair. Upon closer inspection I realized it was in fact....
A grey hair.
A fucking grey hair.
My first fucking grey hair.
My first fucking, shitty shit shit grey hair.
I yanked it out for confirmation. I froze. The blood ran out of my face and for one split second I thought I was going to faint. I ran to grab the phone and call my mom and Donny, then I realized it would be 5am in California and if I woke them up that early for a classic Oriana style meltdown I would ruin both their days. So instead I stared at it, willing it to change back to my natural dark rich YOUNG color.
It didn't change. As if mocking me it grew more and more silver in the morning light seeping in through the cheap hotel curtains. This little hair, this one follicle, SCREAMING at me "It's over bitch! YOU ARE OLD. Better pack up your unicorns, you have crossed an invisible line and YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
And then I cried.
SO maybe I am a little melodramatic. And maybe, just maybe, I am overreacting a little bit. I know that random grey hairs can pop up anywhere from your teens till your mid 30's. I know it could mean a B12 deficiency (this I learned while freaking out crying and trying to "diagnose" grey hair on web MD) I know I'm not old, that I have plenty of young years left . I have great genes, my mom is 20 years older then me and we are constantly mistaken for sisters. I know trying to stop time is like trying to stop a train with a string of floss. It just can't be done and why waste your emotions or stress levels attempting it.
I also know that I am not a child anymore, nor a teenager. I'm not even in my "early or mid 20's" and while you couldn't pay me to be 16 again, it's a tiny bit sobering to know that those days are getting farther and farther away.
And then I figured it out, Time was giving me a little nudge. He was all like" Look girl, you've got dreams, and you've to stop dreamin them and start livin them. I wait for no man and if you keep putting them off you are going to wake up one day and hate yourself for never trying"
Ok Time, I got it. Thanks for the heads up. You're right, time to stop talking and start doing. Like Wooderson says "L-I-V-I-N". But you know what? I don't care how old or grey I get, I'm never letting go of my unicorns.
2 comments:
Orianna, you are a wonderful writer... And you know what else, gray hair doesn't make one iota of difference, because it's all in your HEAD--literally. But the message that came your way is a good one: Life 101, part 2, which says dream and the do.
Hugs, Inga
I meant, DREAM and then DO.
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