Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Oriana is my name

I've done it again, I'm sorry. I am a shitty, shitty blogger. Well, I guess even on a good day I'm a pretty shitty blogger but I've been extra bad lately.

I just can't help it, I've been so obsessed with my new keytar that it is taking up every spare moment of my free time. I realized something today, it might blow your mind when i share it with you. Ready?

When you practice something, you get better.

I wouldn't exactly call myself a quitter, but when I do not receive instant accolades for something I try I usually get frustrated and move on. Ok, I guess that would kinda make me a quitter. I think it more though kept me from trying a few things. For example I always assumed I sucked at playing music because the few violin lessons I took as a wee one didn't magically transform me into a child prodigy. The list goes on, I try something, don't immediately succeed and onto the next endeavor we go! But this was different, I told myself, "Oriana, you have to shut the fuck up, quite whining and practice" and I did. The first day was terrible, the 2nd day was horrendous, then something funny happened on the 3rd day, meaning, it was only kinda atrocious. I realized things that were totally hard the first day weren't hard anymore. Now obviously there are new obstacles, and I still am no musical prodigy but after 27 long years I finally understood the saying "Practice Makes Perfect"

So here are a few pictures of my new idols, I'm gonna go practice some more.

P.S. I promise I won't let my new found shredding skills interfere with my bad ass blog

My new idol, Kimber!!

How good is Pizzazz's bitchface? I swear I can almost hear her talking smack in the picture below

Ummm, I don't know quite what to say about this one except that I really don't think Jem's/Jerica's BF Rio is playing for her team

Monday, March 28, 2011

Hey there handsome

Phil Hartman 1978 RIP

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Dreams do come true

So, I've been in Wisconsin for the past few days on a work trip. After a long and arduous trip home I walked in the door and this amazing piece of magic was waiting for me courtesy of Donny. I haven't been this stoked on anything in quite some time, I have wanted a keytar forever and Donny went and got me the most bitchin one in existence.

I can not wait to blow your minds with keytar solos

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Mr.Unicorner: Max Fischer

March's Mr. Unicorner is none other than student extraordinaire Max Fischer. I like a man with talent and Max has it in spades. Just check out some of the bitchin after school activities he participates in:

what a fox!

Not only that but he embodies the entrepreneurial spirit we all should strive for, who cares if you're flunking school, as long as you are pursuing what you love. Let's here it for Max, the underdog in us all!

photo from sketch charlotte

Dame and Proud of it

First off, let us have a moment of silence for the incomparable beauty that was and forever will be Liz Taylor. What a fantastic human being and perfect example of all that is woman. Go on with your bad self in heaven Dame Elizabeth Rosemary Taylor, you'll be breaking hearts and dressed to impress forevermore.


Now, onto the other stuff. Sorry for being a bad blogger. Im in Wisconsin for work and havent had the inspiration, but it is growing and you can expect the Mr.Unicorner March post I promised last week and minute now. I promise I won't be so negligent in the future. Maybe.


Sunday, March 20, 2011

Danzig Love

Art by Tim Lehi at

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Inspiration Station

Soooooo, I would like to add to the growing pile of regular features here on The Unicorner. We have already seen "Mr.Unicorner" Rad Dudes that woman want and men want to be (and I don't know if you've been paying attention but it's about that time and March's Mr.Unicorner is going to be revealed tomorrow!)There is also "Style Assault" Style profiles of our favorite actor, musicians and what-have-you's and now the latest to join the ranks........

Inspiration Station!!Toot Toot!! Hop on board for a quick look at some images that have been fueling my brain with radness. Now, onto the inspiration!

Well, Hello there classy lady, might I ask which finishing school you attended? I only want to know because I have high aspirations of being as demure rose just like you. Also, notice the baby mama in the back right, is that a baby carriage in front of her?

I still can not get over how much better teenagers in the 70's were. And if you were a teenager in the 70's and disagree I only have to ask you to view this and then disagree with me

then again every decade has it's epic fails. Cute dresses though.


Tuesday, March 15, 2011

It's Lisa Frank Bitches

Being born in '83, my formidable years were spent to the tune of the '90's. While there was a lot of great garage rock to come out of that decade I was too young to appreciate it till later on. I still view the whole damn beginning part of the 90's as a cesspool of terrible style, awkward school dances and even awkwarder growing pains. And to top it all off I got to spend some really great (sarcasm) years wearing this stylish accessory

no, that's not me, but I did have her outfit. 6th grade was awesome yo!(Again sarcasm)

Anyway, eventually I had surgery and blossomed into the totally hot and rad gal I am today but, as I'm sure all of you had as well, there were some pretty gnarly times.

One thing I do think back fondly on though was my INSANE collection of Lisa Frank. Every year after the depression of getting my back to school list subsided I would shake with excitement knowing I was soon to be in possesion of some brand new Lisa Frank School supply magic of my own. God, I remember staring at my folders and trapper keepers like they were the Mona Lisa. Obviously it had some crazy impact cause well, look at me, I still dream of unicorns and puppies holding paintbrushes on a daily basis.
Ladies, can I get a Amen? Who among you coveted these fine works of art?

Oh and how cute is she below? Totally stoked! I totally had that banana folder too

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Dirty Dishes-Lazy Man's Peanut Butter Cookies

New Unicorner Feature!!! Welcome to Dirty Dishes!!!
My man has a sweet tooth, and being the dutiful wife I am I always want to indulge his cravings. As much as I love to cook and bake I rarely have the ingrediants I need on hand and when that sweet craving hits at 9:30pm wild horses couldn't get me to the grocery store.

So I am forced to improvise, the other night we stumbled across a 3 ingredient recipe for Peanut Butter cookies, after a little tweaking I came up with this. Most people should have the following things in their cupboard and for being so easy it really is quite tasty.

Makes 5 large cookies, 6 medium sized ones
- 1 egg
- 1 cup peanut butter ( I prefer natural crunchy but whatevs you have on hand is cool)
- 1/2 cup white sugar
- 1/4 cup brown sugar (you can use just white if that is all you have)
- 1/2 tsp vanilla extract (optional)

Preheat oven to 350
Beat egg, add white and brown sugar, as well as vanilla extract
after that is combined, mix the peanut butter in
spoon onto cookie sheet bake 8-15 minutes (till it looks done, eyeball it!)

let cool and enjoy

Walter Potter Taxidermy

It's no secret I love taxidermy, I've posted about it multiple times, but I never knew about the sheer genius of Walter Potter even though I recognized many of his pieces from doing random taxidermy searches in the past. I did not realize there was a man behind the madness. Maybe I'm out of the loop, after searching his name I came upon a ton of blogs that have already featured his work *ahem*

He was quite popular for displaying anthropomorphic dioramas featuring stuffed animals mimicking human life (that line was taken straight of wikipedia, so obvi not my normal dialogues, I mean there is nary a radical or totally in the whole sentence! Travesty!)

No doubt these totally make the viewer uncomfortable but you can not deny the overwhelming madness of it all. Walter is for sure making my dream dinner party guest list.